When Parents Are Controlling

‘I want to go home’. This is what I told myself everyday after I graduated from college and moved back home to live with my parents. I was home. But it was not the same home that I knew. I had lived in so many different places. I learned so many different things. I had to return to a neighborhood of people that did not celebrate having too many worldly experiences different than their own. I felt trapped. But I survived the short-term ordeal. Below are a few scenarios that tend to happen with graduates and their families after college. My paragraphs also include tips on how to handle the controversy surrounding the new behaviors.

Grad School Vodoo. As I was applying for graduate schools to attend I decided that I wanted to live in my home state of Florida throughout the duration of the program. I received rejection letters from two Florida graduate schools and one school located in Columbia, South Carolina. I cried profusely for about a week at the site of all of those rejection letters. Then a friend suggested I search for schools outside of the state of Florida. That’s when I searched for a ‘liberal school with Midwestern values’ that also housed my College Student Affairs degree. The idyllic Ozark Mountains where the University of Arkansas is located had the perfect program that fit my career goals. I was hooked! I tried to share my fascination with the school with my mother; she did not let me speak about a mountain without getting angry. I had to stop mentioning my plans with mom. I had to allow God to change her heart. I prayed about the situation everyday. Mom was nevertheless very happy when I was accepted into the University of Arkansas.

Allow God to be God. He will move your troubles out of the way when you allow him. He will physically move people or circumstances to make them more bearable for you.

Your Social Circles. A friend’s parent always made fun of the friend’s interest in pop culture. The Bible Belt parent only wanted to speak about things related to the Bible. The parent was a total killjoy. Many people in this parent’s inner circle stopped associating themselves with her for this very fact.

Having to deal with a parent who has adopted this attitude can be difficult. Especially if you have to live with this parent. It helps to have an attitude that you are going to do what’s right for your life regardless of who does or doesn’t like it.  Keep resisting bad attitudes and rude comments. Find people who share your beliefs but challenge you to do better at the same time.

In this blog I spoke of common issues that many young students have to deal with after graduating from college. Perhaps you have an issue that is not mentioned here. Remember to stay strong. Stand up for yourself once to one person and then pray. Don’t let people think that they can treat you any kind of way. Let God handle the ridiculer when the ridiculer does not listen to your cries of annoyance.