First Generation Graduate Students: The Importance of a Mentor

Graduate school is hard. Establishing mentors to help you through the journey should occur at the beginning of the process, especially when applying to programs. Being a daughter of a family without college degrees I had to search outside of the home for the educational guidance I needed.

I have excellent parents. They are my spiritual mentors. My mother’s educational background consists of two associate degrees. My father has a pastoral certification. I am not close to the one person in my family that has earned a master’s degree.

My decision to earn a doctorate degree was met by some family members with jealousy and silence. My mother had to plead to one family member to say goodbye to me as I departed Jacksonville, Florida for Los Angeles, California. The family member’s response was to say that I need to not be upset and to “meet her where she is in life”.

I moved to Los Angeles in order to begin the doctorate program. Upon arrival I knew of only one person living in Los Angeles County- a master’s graduate of a nearby college that knew my Dad. I soon discovered that she was also condescending and jealous.

I then sought mentorship through  older classmates. They have all lived in the Los Angeles area for more than ten years. They gave me advice concerning where to live, how to prepare for the future and how to be a listening ear for someone else. These wonderful classmates also introduced me to the people that eventually hired me for a job. Most importantly, they’ve helped me to have someone who understands the difficulties students face when they go further in their education than a bachelor’s degree programs.

People who have not earned college degrees can also become mentors if they have been in the business world long enough to understand how to propel all of life’s experiences into career success. I recently talked to a family member that I never met before. She and her husband have been successful managers in the hospitality and hotel industries for over twenty years. She actually got her start volunteering at her sister’s realty company. Her advice to me was to volunteer or intern for free in the industry where i want to work. The people will notice my hard work and friendly behavior. I could be moved into higher positions within the company or elsewhere because of the increase in my reputation.

Schools and organizations do not often provide plentiful scholarship opportunities for grad students as they do undergrad students. Family members and close friends may say discouraging things about your educational goals out of jealousy or fear that you will not succeed. Friends may actually become extended family rather than aunts and uncles. It’s ok. Life is short. Love the people that are fascinated with you. And if a person who is so fascinated with you that they care about your daily life make time for the person. The lonely are placed in families. Someone has finally come who will make it their mission to lift you up everyday. Don’t miss it. Don’t fight it. Because that person may not come back into your life.